That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
