Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
why is half of my head shaved?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
