Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am one with the molecules
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
