I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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