East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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