Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize