Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just blew my weed a kiss
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
