If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The feeling are messing with the penis
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
