I could make wine with my vomit
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
