i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
