if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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