the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
