i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
