Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
