i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think i got beer on your cat.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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