I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
