i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
