I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
