just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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