They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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