8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize