I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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