playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
