broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm both gender and math confused
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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