worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
