I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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