My hand turned me down
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
