So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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