Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do vagina's smell?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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