the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
