I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
