That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
