we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
