Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
