NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
