Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
