HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
