She is in my trunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
