I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Of course I have a pirate flag
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
