he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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