Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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