Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
