I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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