He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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