what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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