Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
this is an emotional support booty call
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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