Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
