Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
