he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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