Betty ford says i'm here all night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize