I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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