Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
