I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I party with great urgency now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
