just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
