Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
