it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize