All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
