If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
