He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
