Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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