So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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