you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
