Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
