Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
