debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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