Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
