im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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