are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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