Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
