We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I deserve this hangover.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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