then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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