It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
