i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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